Entry 17 : Into The New World

Hey.
I don't know what this entry will be about.
Is it okay if I just think along as I write?
It wouldn't be okay if Pn. Zainariah read this but who gives a damn about her right?

Should I start putting serious thought into my future?

Like, all these years I've only been thinking about now and never about tomorrow, as in, the long-term future and such.

So, it's like culture shock for me to suddenly need to make serious decisions about my life and everything with my body's gone wrong because of this.

Can stress lead to constipation?

I think, I've been trying to escape from reality.

Yeah, that's pretty much what I do on a regular basis more than anything.

It's not that I fear it, it's just that it's too serious and too important that I've arrived to the point where I might even hate reality because reality is just so ... depressing.

I admire those who have lived a happy and successful life and then died a calm and peaceful death.

It hurts me to see all those people who have reached their goal, have their dream come true and excel in whatever it was they do.

Why?
Because I don't know if I can be as awesome as they are.

I don't know if what I'm doing now may or may not guarantee a brighter future ahead.

How my parents got through everything when they were my age is beyond me.

Everyone who has lived longer than I have and that has rampaged through all obstacles deserves and has my respect.

Because life's just too important to be messed around with.

I hate that my blog's become a place for me to complain about life.

Blogs shouldn't carry such a meaningless burden.

Our problems should be dealt with in a very mature way.

But maturity only occurs occasionally and often it occurs on the wrong occasions.

I don't know what my life will amount to.

I love writing, drawing, music and Art as a whole but I don't know if my love for those things could guarantee me a secure profession as anything.

Will it grant me sufficient income to raise a family?

Will I be good enough to be presented to parents?

Will people give me the respect I gave others?

Will my life be as whole and meaningful as it should be?

How will I find a job?

What kind of a job could I find?

Who even cares about Art?

What can I even do with Art?
I just don't know.

That's why I never dwell in th thoughts of the future.

Because it only makes me think about money.

Why?

Why would anyone even ask why?

Without money, we can't live.

Yeah, you could be happy and poor at the same time but would your family be happy living in a ditch and waiting for rain just so you can shower every morning?

I can't guarantee a secure profession that pays good money if I were to study anything Art-related.

Therefore, on that note, I decided to carve my path and take on Science.

However, every muscle and tissue in this body of mine hates that wretched subject because it goes against all things Arty.

So there's my dilemma, my internal problem.

I hate the future.

I hate that it came so soon.

I hate that it's already here.

And I absolutely hate that I haven't prepared for it.

Well, if it's worth anything, tomorrow there will be this interview I'll be going to.

It's for a scholarship to stud overseas.

In the news, they said that they were prioritizing those who wanted to study in the fields of Medicine, Pharmacy, Engineering and something else that I forgot.

I won't be wanting anything to do with all four of those subjects but I'll stay positive and take each day by the hour.

Life won't be fun without suspense so I'll have to say that my life must be the most fun ever.

Anyway, referring to the title of the entry, it's actually the name of my favorite song from Girls' Generation (SNSD).

The title kind of suits what I ended up talking about in this entry so I went with it.

Here it is:

Well, I'll end this entry here.

Hopefully all goes well this Wednesday.

I'm getting my hair cut for it so it has to be worthwhile.

"To be wise is to point out the unclear truth that is too obvious to be noticed by the overlooking eye"