Hello.
It seems like sadness brings a lot of things to mind.
Maybe it's one of the many silver linings of dark clouds that people always talk about.
Whatever it is, I have just discovered something very valuable in determining my future.
I cannot stay in KMJ for more than two weeks without going back home.
Yeah, I get homesick a little too easily.
I'm a sucker for entertainment, fun and enjoyment.
I've been smothered by happiness all my life (aside from 2008) and the distance away from home has proven to me that I can't be strong enough to pull through dreadful situations.
No, nothing's happened here.
But, yeah, a lot's happening out there.
Note: I am not writing this in a complaining manner.
Think of it as me realizing that I am not supposed to allow myself to think that I have to change to stay on top of my game.
My life is about friends, family and fun.
And being away from all that makes me hollow.
JB is one of many places I have to be to recharge my batteries so I can face days of distress and work and studying.
It's not that I can't cope with studying, it's just that I need something to make me strong enough to do so.
I am not one to feel stressed about my education.
I am not a person who gets nervous when facing examinations.
I don't get scared when it's time to take my results.
I figure I am calm enough when it's time to stop playing around and put my game face on.
I talk as if I am boastful but in reality, that's just how I rock and roll.
Me and my friends, we're the type of people to go with the flow, wherever it may flow.
No matter how overflowing life may be, we surf the waves and dive into the sea of possibilities with our smiles on and our laughter shining the way into unknown depths.
I miss them; my friends, my family and my fun.
I think I realize that people die not because of studying, but, because of studying without rest.
And I, for one, might die.
I like the change in me.
I've become more hardworking.
I've lessen my time wasting and it's good to see myself okay with stuff.
But, I've begun to conjure up some sort of uneasiness around the walls of KMJ.
I don't know, but it's like, I've overstayed my welcome or something.
I think of it as a sign that I should always visit home, even if it seems like I go back home too often.
It isn't wrong to do so.
Heck, it's better to do so.
Being away has taught me a lot of things.
I'm not saying I'm more mature now.
I even cried myself to sleep last night but what the heck.
Life at a distance is good for growth but sometimes, you have to rest.
And that's all I need; some rest.
Not sleep or games or naps or whatever.
But rest, as in, away from everything.
Away from my daily routines, my constant stress-inducers and my every day hustle of lectures, tutorials and practicals.
It's soothing to finally get to wake up in your house, looking at your mom drinking coffee at the table, watching your dad washing the car outside and constantly looking inside for some to come and help him, to see your brothers either sleep or watch cartoons all day long and to see yourself in the mirror you've always looked in since the day you first set foot in your new house.
Being in KMJ has make me grow fonder of my home back Mutiara Rini.
For every curse I put on KMJ, it's a blessing I pray for my home.
I figure that, this is me being mature about things.
This is me having a positive outlook on life.
This is me wanting to better than who I am.
Well, yeah, I'm a pushover.
I'm a certified clumsy cry-baby who has to have reassurance of himself because he's too insecure.
I'm sensitive towards the slightest judgement.
I'm easily pissed off, and I walk-away every time somebody tries to say something about me.
I don't like having problems.
I hate myself more than people think I do.
I am depressed when I am lonely.
I am euphoric when it comes to spending time with my family and friends.
I love the way I laugh at the jokes my friends and family make.
I am grateful to God for bestowing upon me such a great life.
And I am most thankful that I have another day living it.
So, people can say that I'm stingy, greedy, rich, stuck-up, super smart, arrogant, a liar, boastful, a fake, hypocrite or whatever it is I'm perceived to be.
But after crying it out, I guess it just goes down to what my parents taught me before, "They're all just jealous of you,".
And yeah, I think they're right.
I don't need people like that.
I have real friends back home.
Because, if I can't be who I am, then who's going to be me?
I'm not done being sad.
But I'm looking forward to going back home the next time I can.
Until then, sayonara.
It seems like sadness brings a lot of things to mind.
Maybe it's one of the many silver linings of dark clouds that people always talk about.
Whatever it is, I have just discovered something very valuable in determining my future.
I cannot stay in KMJ for more than two weeks without going back home.
Yeah, I get homesick a little too easily.
I'm a sucker for entertainment, fun and enjoyment.
I've been smothered by happiness all my life (aside from 2008) and the distance away from home has proven to me that I can't be strong enough to pull through dreadful situations.
No, nothing's happened here.
But, yeah, a lot's happening out there.
Note: I am not writing this in a complaining manner.
Think of it as me realizing that I am not supposed to allow myself to think that I have to change to stay on top of my game.
My life is about friends, family and fun.
And being away from all that makes me hollow.
JB is one of many places I have to be to recharge my batteries so I can face days of distress and work and studying.
It's not that I can't cope with studying, it's just that I need something to make me strong enough to do so.
I am not one to feel stressed about my education.
I am not a person who gets nervous when facing examinations.
I don't get scared when it's time to take my results.
I figure I am calm enough when it's time to stop playing around and put my game face on.
I talk as if I am boastful but in reality, that's just how I rock and roll.
Me and my friends, we're the type of people to go with the flow, wherever it may flow.
No matter how overflowing life may be, we surf the waves and dive into the sea of possibilities with our smiles on and our laughter shining the way into unknown depths.
I miss them; my friends, my family and my fun.
I think I realize that people die not because of studying, but, because of studying without rest.
And I, for one, might die.
I like the change in me.
I've become more hardworking.
I've lessen my time wasting and it's good to see myself okay with stuff.
But, I've begun to conjure up some sort of uneasiness around the walls of KMJ.
I don't know, but it's like, I've overstayed my welcome or something.
I think of it as a sign that I should always visit home, even if it seems like I go back home too often.
It isn't wrong to do so.
Heck, it's better to do so.
Being away has taught me a lot of things.
I'm not saying I'm more mature now.
I even cried myself to sleep last night but what the heck.
Life at a distance is good for growth but sometimes, you have to rest.
And that's all I need; some rest.
Not sleep or games or naps or whatever.
But rest, as in, away from everything.
Away from my daily routines, my constant stress-inducers and my every day hustle of lectures, tutorials and practicals.
It's soothing to finally get to wake up in your house, looking at your mom drinking coffee at the table, watching your dad washing the car outside and constantly looking inside for some to come and help him, to see your brothers either sleep or watch cartoons all day long and to see yourself in the mirror you've always looked in since the day you first set foot in your new house.
Being in KMJ has make me grow fonder of my home back Mutiara Rini.
For every curse I put on KMJ, it's a blessing I pray for my home.
I figure that, this is me being mature about things.
This is me having a positive outlook on life.
This is me wanting to better than who I am.
Well, yeah, I'm a pushover.
I'm a certified clumsy cry-baby who has to have reassurance of himself because he's too insecure.
I'm sensitive towards the slightest judgement.
I'm easily pissed off, and I walk-away every time somebody tries to say something about me.
I don't like having problems.
I hate myself more than people think I do.
I am depressed when I am lonely.
I am euphoric when it comes to spending time with my family and friends.
I love the way I laugh at the jokes my friends and family make.
I am grateful to God for bestowing upon me such a great life.
And I am most thankful that I have another day living it.
So, people can say that I'm stingy, greedy, rich, stuck-up, super smart, arrogant, a liar, boastful, a fake, hypocrite or whatever it is I'm perceived to be.
But after crying it out, I guess it just goes down to what my parents taught me before, "They're all just jealous of you,".
And yeah, I think they're right.
I don't need people like that.
I have real friends back home.
Because, if I can't be who I am, then who's going to be me?
I'm not done being sad.
But I'm looking forward to going back home the next time I can.
Until then, sayonara.
"What doesn't kill me makes me STRONGER"
p/s: A big THANK YOU to everyone who was phenomenal in making me achieve 4As and subsequently a pointer of 4.00 for my PSPM1 (or First Semester Final Exam)! You guys ARE-OH-CEE-KAY MY F**KING ASS-OH-CEE-KAYS! Next up, UPS2 and PSPM2. Bring it on! OH YEAH!
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